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Additionally, the men were far more aware of sexual diversity and desire, so these men were more willing to engage in less heteronormative sexual acts, such as liking anal penetration by their women partners. Many women found themselves exploring BDSM, polyamory, and were themselves encouraged to explore same-sex relationships.
"We had some women who said that after dating a bi man, they could never go back to dating a straight man." Despite these findings, says Dr Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, such pairings are little understood, both academically and among the public.
When the men did not feel comfortable coming out, misogyny and violence continued to be issues.
This was generally a response to “incredible stigmatisation, marginalisation, and discrimination for their bisexuality,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli “One example was of a man who basically married his female partner to cover his same-sex attractions,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli.
Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli and her co-author Sara Lubowitz hope that their research will help people reconsider what they think they know about bisexuality, and approaching their own relationships with more openness regardless of their sexual orientation. “You go in and design the relationship for yourselves.
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“The final third went on to continue their amazing relationship. Some of the women who were devastated when they found out would think to themselves, ‘I have to weigh that against the fact that he’s been the most sensitive, loving, and caring partner and father.
Some women would say, ‘As long as I have veto power, you can see men,’ meaning she can tell him not to date guys she thinks have a bad vibe.Other women would say, ‘Do what you want, as long as you stay who you are with me. You've fallen in love with this other guy now, and I think you deserve to go live with him for a while.I just don’t want to hear about it.’ “Another older feminist independent woman said to her partner, ‘You’ve been so awesome to me. Just come and visit me periodically.’” And even among men who were out and active members of the LGBT community, misogyny lingered.In one case, a bisexual man made it clear he would be seeing other men but banned her from dating anyone else and confined her to their home to take care of their children. That’s what contributed to an unhealthy relationship,” she says.Some couples found that while their relationship was stable, that they struggled to find acceptance in others.