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His agony was so strong that he grabbed for the nearest object, which happened to be a fork, and continuously jabbed the woman’s face.Finally, I guess her seizure subsided and she let go, but was left with a bleeding face and the man, half of a penis.” Apparently, when someone suffers an epileptic fit, one of the main problems is that the victim’s teeth clamp shut for the duration.Terrified by the very thought of it, she offered £10 to any punter who volunteered to help – and Allan stepped up.She continued: 'I reached into my purse, grabbed a tenner, and shouted out, 'This is for anyone who helps me clean up some sick.''Allan offered straight away.Carer Emma, of St Austell, Cornwall, said: 'Next thing I knew, there was blood everywhere.'Worried about Allan – and her cream carpets – Emma took him to the bathroom, where she dialled the NHS 111 non-emergency number for advice.Asked by the operator to rate his pain on a scale of one to 10, Allan, who cannot work because of ill health, replied, 'What on earth do you think?There was a uniqueness to the pattern on her face so the doctor asked what happened, since she was in the office for another reason.

He was told everything would heal naturally, although the doctor warned that he is now at risk of it happening again.'We both saw the funny side.

It's acharacter that I'm pretty sure is a dick joke anyway, and now the circle is complete.

Because he's the one that burned Joan of Arc at the stake and he's about to ...

I was laughing in the doctor's and making jokes about the movie Teeth, which is about a girl who has teeth in her vagina.'This is not the first calamity the couple have endured together.

Emma, who met Allan in 2011, as he drank in the pub where she did bar work, initially dismissed him as a 'bit of a Jack the lad.'Then, one day, Emma – who has a phobia of vomit – was asked to clean up a pile of it deposited by an inebriated customer.

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